All Under Control!
We retroactively decided that the last time I programmed her, during session 4, I added some additional new modes that we had discussed by email. See descriptions of them.
ehy_1: (Okay. If you don't mind, how about we say that the last time I had you in program mode, I added all the modes we talked about via email?)
ehy_1: (For the record, those are love mode, service mode, robotic mode, property mode, bratty mode, defiant mode, trace mode, hidden trace mode, and girlfriend mode.)
conscious_object: (i shall try to remember them lol)
ehy_1: (I don't mind reminding you if necessary; just let me know.)
ehy_1: So, last time, you were in service mode, sitting next to me as I watched TV.
conscious_object: and feeling uncomfortable lol
ehy_1: I'm holding you close, and just placed your hand on my chest.
ehy_1: Otherwise I'm not paying a lot of attention to you for a while, till the show ends.
ehy_1: "Turn off the tv," I say, turning to you. (The tv remote is nearby; I could easily do it myself.)
conscious_object: (is it on the other side of you? or within reach of me?)
ehy_1: (it's within reach of you with maybe a little stretch.)
conscious_object: i reach for the remote to turn it off
ehy_1: I reach for the other remote - yours - and use it to switch you into trace mode.
ehy_1: (where you must say whatever you're thinking)
conscious_object: i glance over seeing you grab for something, and say "what is he doing?"
conscious_object: "wait...did i just say that out loud?"
ehy_1: BTW, When I do things with the remote, you don't automatically know what I did until you experiece it.
conscious_object: "that was out loud...i'm thinking out loud..."
conscious_object: looks at you - "you can hear what i'm thinking!"
conscious_object: "stop talking"
conscious_object: "stop thinking"
conscious_object: "need to stop thinking..."
ehy_1: I smile.
conscious_object: "don't smile...you think this is funny..."
ehy_1: "Yes, it is."
conscious_object: "ack...stop thinking out loud..."
conscious_object: "no it's not, it's not funny...need to turn off tv..."
conscious_object: i turn of the tv "it's not funny...not funny...stop talking..."
ehy_1: "Kiss me."
conscious_object: "ick, no...want to please you..." i move towards you
ehy_1: you haven't got far to go.
conscious_object: "gross, gross...need to kiss you..."
conscious_object: i give you a kiss
conscious_object: i make it quick
ehy_1: "More than that, girl. Really make out with me."
conscious_object: "ick, no! must serve...make out..."
conscious_object: i start making out with you
ehy_1: I hold you close and kiss you lots.
conscious_object: and i'm probably mumbling words incoherently while kissing you
ehy_1: "Would you like me to reprogram you to enjoy doing this?"
ehy_1: "I can, you know."
conscious_object: "no...i know you can...please don't...want to please..."
ehy_1: Some more kissing. "You'd rather do it without liking it, then?"
conscious_object: "no...maybe...i don't want you to change me anymore...it might be nice..."
ehy_1: "Well, that's fine." Kiss. "I don't mind you not liking this. You're making me enjoy it."
ehy_1: After a few more minutes of this, I look away from you for a second...
ehy_1: ...at the remote...
ehy_1: ...and use it to toggle you out of service mode.
ehy_1: (sometimes I like to pause for a bit to give you time to react if you want)
ehy_1: (since reactions are interesting)
ehy_1: (and so is interrupting them sometimes)
conscious_object: "why is he looking at the remote?...what did he just press...?"
conscious_object: (yeah...the thoughts thing just sort of...it takes longer)
conscious_object: her thoughts now are more along the lines of "stop" and "gross" without the "pleasing" occasionally interjecting
ehy_1: Then we continue making out for a while longer.
ehy_1: Eventually I decide we're either going to have sex or stop. And I'm not really in the mood for sex just now. "That's enough kissing for now," I say.
conscious_object: "finally...gross, gross..."
conscious_object: she tries covering her mouth with her hands, to muffle her thoughts
ehy_1: "Have you ever kissed someone before?" I ask.
conscious_object: "yes...i kissed you just now...such a silly question...ha, that was a good one...that was dumb..."
conscious_object: covers her mouth again lol
ehy_1: "I mean before me, silly."
conscious_object: "no...not on the lips...i've kissed my parents, i suppose...never kissed anyone..."
ehy_1: "I wonder why you dislike it so much."
conscious_object: "because i'm not attracted to you...you're gro--"
conscious_object: covers mouth ;-P
ehy_1: I laugh. "Fair enough. Okay, get up and go finish cleaning the kitchen."
conscious_object: i get up, and as i'm walking to the kitchen i'm saying: "clean the kitchen?...i'm not your maid...why do i need to be your maid...i'm tired of this...want to go home...need to clean the kitchen...i'm not your toy..." (trails off)
ehy_1: well, you keep talking, but you can do it at a low enough volume that I can't hear you till I follow you to the kitchen. Which I do a few minutes later.
ehy_1: So I follow you into the kitchen a few minutes later, toying with your remote (and now able to hear your thoughts again)
conscious_object: "sick of listening to myself talk...oh, he comes again...focus...focus on kitchen, not thinking..."
conscious_object: "what's he doing with that remote?...what are you going to do with that?"
ehy_1: I toggle you into robotic mode.
conscious_object: (i'm trying to imagine what task she was doing at this point...were there a lot of dishes that needed to be done maybe?)
ehy_1: (probably. dishes, washing the counters and table, putting away stuff from the dish drainer... maybe cleaning the fridge if you interpreted it that way...)
ehy_1: (cleaning the stove and oven, even)
conscious_object: (i was envisioning a sink full of dishes and her scrubbing away, when you entered...just for reference, lol)
ehy_1: (works for me)
conscious_object: suddenly her arms start moving very stiff and jerky
conscious_object: "what's...wrong with my arms? what is this...?"
conscious_object: she sets the plate down in the sink and steps back...her legs move stiff and jerky as well...she not able to move very fast
conscious_object: (her voice has changed as well, right?)
ehy_1: (yes - everything she says comes out with that artificially chipper sound of a commercial voiceover or voicemail system.)
ehy_1: (I like that better than the robotic monotone most folks go for.)
ehy_1: (well, most asfr folks...)
conscious_object: (either or, doesn't matter to me)
conscious_object: (that would be lol)
ehy_1: (I'm thinking maybe that only applies to things she says deliberately, though, maybe not her trace-mode speech.)
ehy_1: (yeah, I think so.)
conscious_object: (that works, hehe)
conscious_object: "what's wrong with my legs?...can't move..."
conscious_object: i turn around a little and face you
conscious_object: "what did he do?...am i moving like...a robot?...i look ridiculous...stop it..."
conscious_object: she looks up at you and says "what did you do?"
conscious_object: "omg, what was that?...sound like a voicemail machine...can't stop...this is creepy....stop it..."
ehy_1: "Who, me?" I ask with exaggerated innocence.
conscious_object: "this isn't funny" she says in an eerily kind and chipper tone, as she continues to think aloud about how messed up this is
ehy_1: "Maybe it's a little malfunction," I say. Meanwhile your body is urging you back to the cleaning.
conscious_object: "a malfunction?...like before?...should i be worried?...no, he was joking...need to do dishes...sounded like he was joking...he did something...washing dishes..."
ehy_1: "Ignore me till you're done cleaning," I say. (Doesn't affect your thoughts, but you can't do or deliberately-say anything you wouldn't if I weren't here.)
conscious_object: "what does he mean ignore him?...he's right there...next plate...you're right there...why can't i say anything to him?...argh..."
ehy_1: I come over behind you and put my hands on your waist, which is exposed by the lingerie you put on earlier when you wanted to please me.
ehy_1: Feeling you up.
conscious_object: (i totally forgot about that, lol)
conscious_object: "ack...don't touch me!...why can't i tell him...hey, i know you can hear me!...don't, don't, don't..."
ehy_1: I smile at your objections (behind you), but don't stop.
ehy_1: I run my hands lightly over all your exposed skin, not interfering with your work.
ehy_1: You might find it distracting, but your body keeps working anyway just as if I weren't there.
conscious_object: i shiver a little "don't do that...why did i put on lingerie?...stop that...hard to think...next dish...get your hands off me..."
ehy_1: Eventually I get bored of that.
ehy_1: "When you're all finished, go up to the computer room. If I'm not there when you get there, just stay still and wait for me."
ehy_1: (you do say yes-sir to that)
conscious_object: (even though i'm ignoring you?)
ehy_1: (programming overrides orders - I programmed you to say yes sir; only ordered you to ignore me.)
conscious_object: when i'm finished, i go upstairs to the computer room
ehy_1: After listening to your responses for a bit, I wander back out to the tv room.
ehy_1: and am not there when you arrive.
conscious_object: i stand there, thinking "where is he?...was he still in the TV room?...how long does he want me to wait...?"
ehy_1: "stay still" is interpreted differently than "freeze." Basically you have to hold your pose, but within that you can move a little - move eyes, wiggle a bit, react to a touch, and so on. You can also speak.
conscious_object: "is he almost done?...this is so boring...i should go back downstairs...ugh, can't move...move, move, move..."
conscious_object: "why's he taking so long?...want to move...how did i get into this situation?...want to go home...can't move..."
ehy_1: After quite a bit longer than you feel like waiting, I'm ready to come up and work on you some more.
conscious_object: "i think i hear him...coming up the stairs?...yay, he's coming up the stairs...finally...so tired of standing here...hurry up..."
ehy_1: You hear me come in behind you, and I walk around you to the computer.
conscious_object: "please let me move...can i move yet?...i know you can hear me...don't just ignore me...so tired..."
ehy_1: (you don't need to ignore me anymore, and can speak deliberately.)
conscious_object: (since when? lol)
ehy_1: (the order was "ignore me till you're done cleaning.")
conscious_object: (shows how observant i am ;-P)
conscious_object: (though i kinda like the idea of her thinking out loud about not being ignored...but we can say that didn't happen i suppose, lol)
ehy_1: (I do too, as it happens.)
conscious_object: she says out loud "i...i can talk again..."
conscious_object: thinks: "sounds so creepy"
conscious_object: says: "can i move yet?"
conscious_object: thinks: "took long enough...what took him so long?"
ehy_1: "Yes, you can talk. Hm... no, stay still. But kneel down next to me so your face is right here." I indicate a space about four feet away from me, on a level with my own head.
conscious_object: (so a tall kneel)
conscious_object: "don't want to kneel...so humiliating...what does he want now...?"
ehy_1: Make that three feet, and yes, a tall kneel. Maybe even a little uncomfortable, you might need to hold yourself up a bit.
conscious_object: (hold myself up on what?)
ehy_1: (your legs... so it's sort of a half-crouch more than a real kneel.)
conscious_object: (oh, okay)
conscious_object: "ehhn...uncomfortable...how long do i need to hold this?...what are you doing...?"
ehy_1: I start working at the computer. You don't have a very good view of it, but you can see a window with what looks like a picture of your face.
conscious_object: "what's that?...there's a picture of me...what's he doing...?"
conscious_object: says: "what are you doing now...?"
ehy_1: I ignore that.
ehy_1: Occasionally I turn and look at you - but not like I'm paying attention to what you're saying, just looking thoughtfully at your face or body.
conscious_object: "don't look at me like that...why is he ignoring me?...stop ignoring me...i'm right here..."
conscious_object: says: "stop acting like i'm not here"
ehy_1: "oh, you're here," I say absently, but still mostly ignoring you.
conscious_object: i grumble more, lol
ehy_1: I work for probably about an hour.
conscious_object: (wow, an hour...)
ehy_1: After a while I probably use the remote to turn down your vocal volume so your thoughts are coming out in just a quiet murmur, and the loudest you can speak isn't a lot louder than that.
conscious_object: i continue to complain about how bored i am, how uncomfortable this is, how i want to relax my legs, how i want to know what you're doing, etc.
conscious_object: (that's awesome, lol)
ehy_1: Occasionally I mutter to myself... things like, "No, that's not right... hm... that could work... something about that curve... there, that's it... oh, perfect..."
conscious_object: "what are you doing?...are you almost done?...so uncomfortable..."
ehy_1: Although your pose feels about as uncomfortable as it would have last week, you don't feel any actual difficulty in maintaining it.
ehy_1: "There, that's good. Okay." I turn up your volume to normal again. "Now, start talking, Julie. Say anything you think might interest me."
conscious_object: "might interest you? i have no idea...what am i supposed to say?"
ehy_1: "Oh, wait, that's not..." I toggle you out of robotic mode. To you: "Anything, just keep talking."
conscious_object: "fine. 'anything, just keep talking.'"
ehy_1: I laugh. "And you not even in bratty mode. Continue talking, Julie. About anything you want to." (you have control over your inflections again, btw.)
conscious_object: (is she still thinking out loud as well?)
ehy_1: (yes - and the deliberate talking and thinking out loud might interrupt each other.)
conscious_object: thinks: "bratty mode?...what're you --"
conscious_object: says: "talk, talk, talk...i can't really think of anything to say..."
conscious_object: thinks: "keep speaking..."
conscious_object: says: "but i need to keep talking" *sigh*
conscious_object: says: "are you almost done? i'm so tired of this..."
ehy_1: "That'll do. You could tell me about your school, or those friends you mentioned, if you want."
ehy_1: I start working at the computer again.
ehy_1: As you speak (you don't need to keep typing what you're babbling if you don't want to) you notice your voice changing.
conscious_object: says: "omg, school...i just want to go home..."
ehy_1: Gets higher pitched first.
conscious_object: says: "what are you doing? stop that!"
ehy_1: Changes for a bit as I fine-tune the pitch... "hm, close... maybe... well, we'll see."
ehy_1: Then your inflection changes a little - your natural pitch changes get a little sharper, things like that.
conscious_object: says: "stop, stop stop...quit it! i don't like that!"
ehy_1: I clear the sound of your voice, getting rid of some of the lower resonance and making it sound prettier and more feminine.
ehy_1: Drop the pitch just a little...
conscious_object: i make some abstract sounds like "blah" or things like that, and try clearing my throat and things, trying to stop it from changing
ehy_1: Altering your accent a bit, softening your consonants...
conscious_object: altering the accent how?
ehy_1: Hm, maybe a little hint of southern or British... not enough to make you sound like you don't belong here; just giving your voice a little softer sound.
ehy_1: You might not even realize it if you weren't listening for changes.
conscious_object: ah, ok
ehy_1: After a while I stop tweaking and just listen to your voice.
conscious_object: i'm all "why are you doing this? leave me alone!" and stuff
ehy_1: "Hm... tell me about the last movie you saw. In detail."
conscious_object: i start babbling to you about "ray" lol
conscious_object: and looking a little frustrated that i can't seem to talk about anything else
ehy_1: I make another little minor adjustment to something or other.
ehy_1: One more.
ehy_1: "Okay, perfect. You can stop talking now. Do you like your new voice?"
conscious_object: "i liked my old voice!"
ehy_1: I wait for you to answer the question.
ehy_1: It is pretty.
conscious_object: "it sounds okay"
conscious_object: or maybe
conscious_object: "it sounds nice"
conscious_object: (can we end this soon for today maybe?)
ehy_1: (Sure, we can stop here I think.)
Return to All Under Control!