agalmatophilia: to be attracted to statues or mannequins (really! look it up!)
BY CMQ 9-97
Matt tried to look into Kerri's eyes but he felt too...ashamed? embarrassed? He had to tell her but the words were not forthcoming. He could feel her staring back, confused and worried, trying to discern what he had so much difficulty in saying.
"Hey," she said softly, "it's O.K. just take it slow. It'll be all right."
Matt looked at her sandy-blonde hair cascading down her shoulders to her aqua t-shirt and tight fitting blue jeans, unwilling to face her. "Honey, I-I want you to come with me to..." He hesitated, the words sticking in his throat. She would never look at him the same way again if he told her. But he had to. She deserved to know, for they had been living together for almost three years now and he had trusted her implicitly with everything, except...this.
"To...where?" she questioned, trying not to press the subject to hard but at the same time beginning to worry what this deep, unspoken secret Matt had such hesitation in admitting to her.
"To an..." he gulped and took a deep breath. It's now or never he told himself. It won't be so bad. Blurt it out, man. "...A.A. meeting tonight." he blurted out like he was vomiting.
"Omigosh!" Kerri exclaimed. "I never thought...How long has this been--" she suddenly composed herself and hugged him. "Of course, darling." she said reassuringly, "Of course I'll go with you."
Matt and Kerri drove up to a non-descript building and parked in the lot outside. As they approached the glass front door with the gold imprinted letters--A.A. Matt opened the door and Kerri strode in, noticing a lovely life-size statue of a nude woman near the receptionist's desk. The woman behind the desk inquired, "Are you here for the meeting?"
"Uhm," Matt stumbled. Kerri reached out and took his hand. "Yeah." he said somewhat unassuredly.
"Just go down the hall to the first door on the right."
"Thanks." Kerri replied, and led Matt by the hand. "Come on, honey." she said. "You've come this far, might as well go the whole nine yards, right?" She smiled at him.
Matt swallowed hard. She was always so strong and open. She never got flustered and dove into anything she set her mind to. He owed it to her to keep going for she had supported him one hundered percent.
They entered a room filled with folding chairs set in a circle around the room. There was about thirty other people there already and a few empty seats. Matt and Kerri took a pair of seats near the speaker's podium on one end of the room, next to the black board which had the words "Welcome to A.A." written in chalk on it.
A fifty-ish looking man with balding hair and glasses walked up to the podium. "Hello, everyone. My name is John," he said warmly.
"Hello, John," echoed many voices from the assembled crowd.
"I see we have a few new faces here tonight," John said, scanning the room. "Would anyone like to introduce themselves?"
The room was quiet. Everyone looked around at each other. Kerri looked at Matt, gently nudging him in the side. "Come on," she whispered. "It won't be so bad."
Matt took a deep breath. It's now or never, he thought. He stood, tentatively, with Kerri holding his hand tightly, lending her strength. "I-I'm Matt," he stammered.
"Hi, Matt," came the response from the room.
"My name is Matt," he repeated, "and...and I'm an..."
Come on, honey, Kerri thought. It will get easier if you just say it. Be brave. I'm here with you.
"I'm an agalmatophiliac," Matt finished.
What?!? thought Kerri.
"I have been attracted to statues and mannequins for over fifteen years, ever since I was a teen-ager," Matt continued, he was becoming more confidant, almost gushing out the words.
Kerri, on the other hand, sat back in her seat, stunned by what he was saying. He likes statues? And mannequins, too? she thought. What is going on here? I don't understand...
The rest of the next hour or so went by in a daze. What kind of weird fetish is this? she wondered. How could he have kept that secret from me? We have been so close...I thought we shared everything?
After all the speakers had taken their turns John invited everyone to some refreshments. Kerri stood to one side of Matt, arms folded, and trying for all the world to blend into the background. She didn't even notice John come up beside her and almost jumped out of her skin when he spoke. "Excuse me, miss?"
"Oh! Er...hello," she answered distractedly, as if her thoughts were a world away.
"I'm John. I see you came with young Matthew?" he asked.
"Oh, ah, right...Matt and I go...back a ways." she still sounded distracted.
"You sound confused. Is this all too much for you? I was the one who spoke to Matthew when he contemplated "revealing himself" by coming to a meeting." he said gently.
"I just don't understand this whole concept of amalgam..." she began.
"Agalmatophilia," John corrected.
"Right, whatever," Kerri answered. "I just don't see the appeal in having some sort of weird fetish for statues and such."
"Well, you might want to look at it this way," countered John. "Think of it as a form of bondage. Bondage fantasies are quite commonplace and involve the immobilization or restriction of movement of someone. Agalmatophilia just takes it to the next level by fantasising about the transformation of the body into the restricting agent. When turned into a statue, the body itself becomes the bondage while the mind remains free."
"I guess I can see it that way," said Kerri, not totally convinced of his argument.
"Of course that's not the only way to look at it," continued John.
"What do you mean?" replied Kerri.
"There's other ways for agalmatophilia to manifest itself. For example, there are sculptors who dream of creating the ultimate work of art by using the human body itself, or window dressers who fantasize about the mannequins they are dressing. There is a great appeal to touching someone who is completely immobilized, unable to prevent someone from undressing them or fondling them."
"Sounds like mostly a male fantasy, the objectification of women, literally," said Kerri.
"Well, that's one way of looking at it, and the men do tend to outnumber the ladies," John continued. "But as you can see from the turnout tonight, it does tend to cross many boundaries." He indicated the many different ages and sexes scattered throughout the room. "Sometimes it is a fantasy of women to remain beautiful forever, or to immortalize, to capture their beauty for all posterity. We sometimes get artists' models and such who, after long posing sessions, fantasize about becoming the sculpture the artist is working on. As if they place themselves in the sculpture's place, being the object of attention, feeling the hands molding their own bodies, and relishing the sensuous feeling of touch. There are also fashion models who sometimes pose as mannequins in store windows and love being the center of attention."
"Well, please explain one thing," Kerri asked. "If this is supposed to be a self-help group for alagama..." stumbling over the word again.
"Agalmatophilia," reiterated John again.
"...tophilia," she finished. "Then isn't this whole organization sorta like admitting it's an unhealthy passion?
"Oh by all means no," chuckled John. "It just means that when taken to extremes, when the person becomes overwhelmingly addicted to the pursuit of statues to the detriment of real life, that it clinically becomes dangerous."
"I see..." Kerri's voice trailed off. She and John had been somewhat distant of late. She just thought it was a phase they were going though, since they shared everything and had no secrets, at least that's what she had thought until today.
"Has Matthew been somewhat distracted lately?" John asked.
"Um...yes as a matter of fact he...has," she admitted.
"That's one of the reasons he contacted us," John said. "He felt he was becoming obsessed with statuary and felt he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. We offered to help him with his addiction. Eventually, over the phone, I convinced him to come in to a meeting but I never knew he was going to tell you about it. That took a great amount of courage."
"I see..." trailed Kerri.
"You should encourage him to be more open..." John said. "It will help him to realize what's really important to him. The fantasy is all well and good, but when it comes to the point between choosing between it and someone he cares about, like you, than he just needs to be reminded."
"I don't know...it just seems all so strange to me..." her voice trailing off.
The ride home was very quiet, as far as Kerri's perspective. Matt had done all the talking while she added a few "uh huh's" along the way. He seemed quite open and willing to discuss the matter and seemed quite happy that he had attended the meeting. When they got home, he noticed she was still very quiet.
"Hey," he said softly. "What's wrong? Are you...mad I didn't tell you exactly what it was we were going to tonight?"
"Well," she said hesitatingly, "I was under the impression that you needed help for some sort of drinking problem and now I find out it's really some strange fetish that your involved with that I knew nothing whatsoever about."
"I-I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just didn't think it through. I thought you would be proud of me for revealing my deepest secret and that our relationship would be stronger for it. I should have realized it would all be such a shock to you." He held her in his arms and thought for a long moment before he made a decision. What would probably be one of the hardest ones he would make. "I-I'll tell you what, honey," he said gently. "If you want me to give up this...passion of mine, then I will. This meeting tonight allowed me to express feelings I have had bottled up for years. I think...no, I know...I can live without it now that I've gotten it off my chest. You're the only important thing in my life. Nothing else matters." He released her from his embrace and walked over to his closet. Digging under a bunch of things, he emerged holding a well-worn box. 'This is all going into the trash, Kerri. We're gonna start from scratch. No more secrets between us, okay?" He kissed her cheek. "I'm going to hit the sack. We'll talk about it some more tomorrow, if you want, okay?"
"Okay," she answered as he got ready for bed.
The next day, Kerri awoke to find Matt had already left for work. She had not slept well and the matter of Matt's secret still was on her mind. She crawled out of bed and slipped on a robe over her pajamas. She saw the box Matt had tossed into the trash the night before. Do I dare look inside it? she thought. I might not like what I find inside. Her curiosity got the better of her and she opened the box to peer at the contents inside. There were video tapes and magazine clippings about statues and pictures of models painted to look like statues, computer disks and photographs. Photographs of her! These were private, personal photos they shared, but Matt had apparently made copies for himself. There was one of her at the beach in her bikini and Matt had added the caption in the margin: "My beautiful Kerri...If only I could preserve you like this. Gorgeous and unchanging in your sexy swimwear. A pretty mannequin forever." There was another of her in her Halloween costume, a sexy Roman goddess, and washed over with a greyish tint so that she looked a little like a statue: "My pretty statue of Kerri. Stiff and motionless, a work of art made from life by my hand." And there were dozens more, fantasizing about her turned to stone, gold or just plain motionless.
As she searched some more, she discovered stories handwritten by Matt about her being put on a pedestal for all to see her timeless beauty, about being frozen by special devices for months at a time and being fondled by Matt in her immobile state. She popped the video tapes in the vcr. One of them had scenes from various movies or tv shows with women being frozen or pretending to be mannequins but the other had home movies of her, copied so that there were lengthy still frames on pause of her in her swimsuit, lingerie, or nude in a private taping session she once agreed to with Matt. There she was, stroking herself, but not moving. A freeze-frame image of herself preserved forever. Oh my gosh, she thought. He is completely obsessed with me as an unmoving statue. She sat down on the bed with a heavy sigh. Just what was it about this stuff that fascinated him so much? John told me that there were women interested in this...why? She sat and stared at the various statue-related material strewn about the floor.
And then she remembered something from her early college days, when she briefly had to resort to modeling for an art class to pay for her tuition. She remembered the reluctance she had in disrobing before strangers, but once she got to posing, found it somewhat thrilling that all the eyes in the room were on her. It wasn't too much later that she found a steadier, better paying job, but those few moments on the modeling came back to her in a rush now. She remembered it all so clearly now, it had been buried in her memories for so long. Just a minor incident in her life, but one which had sudden relevance now. It was sort of a kick, she thought, to be posed motionless for strangers observing every inch of me, once I got over the embarassment, that is.
A decision weighed heavily on her, was breaking up with Matt an option? They had been very close for years, but this passion of his was starting to drive a wedge between them, and forcing him to give it up cold turkey would not necessarily be the ideal solution, despite what he said last night. Could I live with myself if he is allowed to continue this? she pondered. I don't really get anything out of this at all, but there was that one time modeling... She gathered up all the items in the box again and made her decision. For better or worse, this is how it's going to be...
Matt came home from work, although dragged himself home would be more accurate. A long day, and I still haven't talked to Kerri in detail about what happened last night. I have the feeling things are never going to be the same between us. "Kerri?" he called as he opened the door. She didn't have to go to work today, but there wasn't any dinner set on the table. No note either, how strange... Oh no! She...she didn't decide to leave me? he suddenly thought in panicked tones. It was all my fault, he cursed himself. Me and this crazy fantasy which drove us apart... He took off his jacket and walked into the bedroom feeling dejected and was suddenly shocked to see...
Kerri standing before him, nude but covered in...body makeup or paint? She was glistening white from head to toe, completely coated, and resembled a pristine marble statue. She stood unmoving, not acknowledging his presence. "Kerri?" he said hesitating, reluctant to have her break from her pose and answer him. But she continued to stand motionless, as still as a statue she resembled. He looked over her pose, and admired how the white paint/makeup on her body brought out all the details of her musculature. She was like some exhibit in a museum now as he gave her a quick once-over from head to foot. Her legs were slightly apart, to help her balance he thought, with the right foot forward and the left slightly back. Her right arm was horizontal to the floor, with the elbow bent so that her right hand, palm down with fingers outstretched, touched her right shoulder. Her left hand was at her waist and all together she made a striking facsimile of a statue. Matt walked closer to her, wondering when she would react to his presence, but she continued staring straight ahead. He walked up to her and looked directly in her face. She didn't even blink at him. This was utterly amazing, he thought...how did she know this was a longtime fantasy of mine?
Hi Matt, she told herself. This is your present for being so open with me. We are so good for each other. The time we have spent together has been like a dream. I'm not going to let something silly break us up. I won't allow it. This is my peace offering for you. Your fantasy come to life. I'm a statue for your pleasure. To look at and touch as you desire. Come and do what you want with me...I'm unable to resist...
Matt walked around Kerri, admiring how she kept her body still, virtually motionless, with only the hint of movement. Her hair was painted white, every strand covered and done up in a braided ponytail reminiscent of Greek statuary. He reached out to touch her and stopped himself, as if he felt he would break the spell which held her immobile. Matt instead continued to walk around her, taking in the breathtaking view of her naked form. Her tight, firm buttocks looked so different now...as if the paint somehow made them look...harder, more solid. Her legs were delightfully well toned and looked smooth as real marble under the paint. Bending over, Matt looked between Kerri's legs and saw that she had not neglected to cover her most private area. Every crack and crevice of her body was painted white. Her dark nipples now blended into the rest of her breasts with her skin texture the only clue as to where they began. She stood coolly, unchanging, pure as snow. Matt felt himself get excited at the thought of touching his statue-like girlfriend. I wonder if she'll move if I do this...
Kerri felt Matt's hand touch her pubic hairs, as he ran his fingers down between her legs and stroked her clitoris. Ohhh...keep still, she reminded herself. Concentrate...on the...pose. Ignore everything...even though it feels soooo...incredible... The motionlessness of her body seemed to be more sensitive to touch now that it didn't have to be distracted by all sorts of other things. Her mind seemed to reel under the waves of pleasure building within her but she remained steadfast in her resolve to stand still. It's so incredible, pretending to be a statue...
Matt continued to be amazed at Kerri's resolve to stay motionless in the face of his amorous fondling. He caressed her soft butt and ran his hands down her thighs slowly. Still no reaction from her. This must be driving her crazy, he thought. She is usually so into foreplay she can't stop moving...this must be overwhelming her senses. He continued to softly move his hands over her body, feeling her every curve. As he moved up her stomach to her breasts, he watched for signs of movement and saw none.
Kerri's mind was racing as Matt's hands continued their ascent towards her breasts. If I can hold still while he was stroking my pussy, I can keep steady when he gets to my tits...She suddenly felt a huge erotic sensation as his hands fondled her breasts and played with her nipples. She couldn't, of course, prevent them from bouncing around as he squeezed them, but she made sure the rest of her stayed rock steady. It-it's so sensual...so erotic to be some sort of plaything for him...
Matt began to relish the challenge posed before him. He was sure that she would have at least audibly groaned when he fondled her breasts. The self-control she possessed was amazing. She really has tapped into an unknown ability with this performance. He took her left arm in his hand and moved it away from her body. She didn't resist, allowing him to repose her arm so that it was elbowed out away from her body. Oh, this is too damn sexy, he thought. She's letting me repose her however I want. He began to get sweaty, his palms wet with perspiration. He bent her arm so that it was straight up in the air and facing front. Then he took her right arm and maneuvered it so that her hand was on her hip. That's not quite right, he concluded, and moved to grasp her right leg. He was surprised she didn't try to right herself as he carefully tipped her so that he could bend her leg at the knee.
Surprised you, didn't I? Kerri smiled inwardly as Matt continued to play with posing and reposing her body. I bet you thought I couldn't hold a pose this long...well surprise! That little stint as an art model taught me how to relax my body, to stand...perfectly still...like the way you imagined me...mmmmm....the erotic sensations were threatening to break her spirit. Just...a little longer...must hold the pose...she concentrated.
Matt could feel himself ready to explode from the erotic feelings he was having at seeing Kerri as he envisioned her in his unspoken fantasies. He thought to himself, well, if she is so intent on remaining immobile, let's see how far she wants to take it. He took hold of her waist and lifted her up, turning her so that her body was horizontal to the floor. Incredibly, she wavered only slightly, keeping the last pose she was in. Matt smiled and carried his frozen lover to the bed, laying her body on the sheets. He then moved her legs down and sat her up. She still continued to stare ahead to nothingness. He kissed her on the lips, whispering, "Thank you, honey...you've made my dream come true...now let me give something back to you..." He unbuttoned his shirt and unzipped his pants. Then he turned Kerri over and repositioned her so that she was on her hands and knees facing away from him.
Ohhh...you...know I love this...position, she thought, as she anticipated his penis entering her. I'll try...and hold this...pose as long...as I...can, but it's getting...way too sexy for...me...She felt like moaning out loud but held it in...barely. Uhhhh....she felt him enter her vagina and her world exploded into a flash of ecstasy.
FOUR MONTHS LATER
John noted that the Agalmatophiliac's Anonymous meeting room was almost full. It's going to be a busy night, he mused. He stepped up to the podium and introduced himself.
"Hello, everyone. My name is John and I'm here to help you all through your little, ahem, difficulties. Would anyone like to say anything? Introduce themselves?"
The room was quiet, as if everyone was expecting someone else to speak first. Finally, a hand raised and a young woman stood up.
"My name is Kerri," she began. "And I'm an agalmatophiliac..."
author's note: the author would like it to be known that the preceding story is meant to be taken lightly and means in no way to demean or slam those attracted to the finer points of agalmatophilia, of which this author considers himself a fervent follower of. It is also not meant to belittle the real AA whose fine work has helped many people over the years through a very difficult problem. The author just wishes there was a Kerri out there waiting...sigh!